Biete - Deuterium » come and that he couldnt express his sadne

If I ever needed a brain transplant, Id choose a sportswriter because Id want a brain that had never been used.- Norm Van Brocklin When I was 13, I transferred to a new school for the first time. I had spent ten years from junior kindergarten through Grade 8 at the northwest corner of Bathurst Street and Viewmount Avenue in midtown Toronto. It was my home court advantage. I knew the roll of the rims and the carom of the walls and which teachers were lax at taking attendance. It couldnt last forever. At some point a promotion was coming, and my record setting minor league career wouldnt matter once new maths and makeup-laden girls challenged all that I had honed. I was heading to St. Andrews Junior High. Grade 9. The Show. Embarking on my first day in the wilds of the public school system, I knew I had to make my mark early. Mr. Pelech, my clever English teacher, noticed my t-shirt just minutes into the first class. It was a tattered, ink-drenched Grateful Dead concert tee. He remarked that "Grateful Dead" was an example of a contradiction. Contra what now? Coach tapped my shoulder and I hopped the boards. I proceeded to argue with a shellshocked Mr. Pelech for several minutes. My arguments were lithe, varied and completely illogical, but I had been trained to stand my ground no matter how ridiculous my position. Eventually, a hapless Mr. Pelech scanned the class and sputtered, "Just who is this guy?" Each one of my classmates shook their heads sheepishly as if to say uh, dont look at me. Mark made. Within two weeks I owned that school. They didnt realize the repressed explosiveness that ten years of private school Yiddish lessons would unleash. It is in this brazen spirit I introduce myself to you now, Dear Reader, as your new weekly columnist for Bardown. Why was I chosen as The One to guide you through the international sports landscape, particularly with so many scribes vying for your sports-saturated eyeballs? Commence the elucidation (AKA bring da noize): Basketball. This is my wheelhouse. I know all the lyrics to Kurtis Blows Basketball and I have for decades. I own a Sweet Georgia Brown-humming Harlem Globetrotters pinball machine from 1979. I still play pickup every week at a local high school against stiff competition in their very extremely late twenties. Also, I was an associate producer for the Toronto Towers of the NBA for nearly 500 games, post-games, pre-games and exactly five playoff games. Ooh, another thing, I call the Toronto Raptors the Toronto Towers because I have some self-respect. Baseball. I spent five teenage summers selling peanuts outside the Dome under the alias Mike Simmons. Despite a promising career as a sidearm Eephus pitch-throwing specialist, the leagues advanced scouts were never able to unravel the mysteries of my potential, because apparently throwing over the plate was a "prerequisite for success". Racists. I submit that using the All Star Game to decide home field advantage in the World Series is akin to the winner of the submission portion of Americas Funniest Home Videos determining the nominees for The Oscars Best Picture award. Also, you can thank me for getting the old Blue Jays logo back, as days after writing this piece, the marketing director for the Jays was following me on Twitter, and months later a new logo was born. Also, my therapist says I have something called a narcissistic personality disorder. Football. In 1998, I moved to Los Angeles to pursue the dream of being rich and famous which is why you know me so well today. That same year I became a fan of an upstart outfit known as the Baltimore Ravens because I thought Ray Lewis was almost definitely innocent of murder and I am obsessed with Edgar Allan Poe. Fifteen glorious seasons later I have two championship rings (made of foil and buttons) as my testament. I have correctly predicted, in pre-season, the Super Bowl participants for 13 consecutive years and I defy you to prove otherwise. (Note: Please dont reference my Twitter feed. Just be cool. This claim is all I have.) Hockey. I worked camera on the 2003 documentary A Day in the Life of the Maple Leafs so I know a thing or two about hockey. Well, exactly two things. One, when I was eight years old, my teenage neighbour convinced me his Mats Naslund rookie card could be mine for the extremely low price of my 1979 O-Pee-Chee Wayne Gurtski rookie card. (Note: I have forgotten how to spell that particular Edmonton Oilers name. At least my night terrors have subsided.) Two, I have developed an algorithm demonstrating the NHL to be the worst run league in the history of Industry. It involves a complicated geometric measurement involving my eyes and common sense. (A fact I will gladly prove over and over again until they, oh I dont know, realign the conferences to have an equal amount of teams. Lets start there.) Fantasy Sports. I Am Legend. In its heyday of 2001, my sprawling website, mikegallay.com, was a sports fantasy powerhouse boasting 16 writers covering all sports, catering to an audience of nearly 16 unique daily readers (and fans of ravines who misspelled mygulley.com). Chances are, if you were a Canadian sports fan in the early 2000s, you were reading articles about topics we also covered on mikegallay.com. The Professor And Mary Ann. I will happily cover all the secondary sports every time a participant either murders someone, is attacked by a spouse using the tools of their own sport, has sex on camera on TMZ, or breaks an important racial, cultural or gender barrier while also keeping our interest for more than eight minutes. Thats my pledge. Am I the precisely correct author to bring you whimsical, satirical, deadly accurate analysis of the sports that matter to you? Absolutely. And can I say that with total sincerity because part of my contract stipulates I have no editor? Two for two. Have I earned your attention to read my column next week? Lets put it this way. My topic will be 23 Ways to Make Over 7K a Week Working Part Time From Your Couch. My third column will be Bardown Seeks New Columnist, No Experience Required. Gallays Poll #1 What would you like to see Gallay write about in his next column? a) A 20,000-word essay conclusively proving Mike is the third Williams sister. b) Doug Gilmours Secret Recipes for 3am Snacks. c) My Weekend In The Hamptons With Barry Bonds. d) No column, just use this space to expand Badminton coverage. Carlos Salcedo Jersey . Asdrubal Cabrera had four hits and three RBIs, Michael Brantley also homered and the Indians beat the injury-riddled Minnesota Twins 9-4 Thursday for their first three-game winning streak this season. Carlos Vela Jersey .She struggled with a hacking cough, she was sick, and she twice celebrated too early, but she held her composure in a 6-3, 7-6 (5) victory on Saturday.On her third match point, she let her racket go before hearing a let call to what she thought was an ace. http://www.mexiconationalshop.us/Andres-...-Jersey-Soccer/. Duhamel, from Lively, Ont., and Radford, from Balmertown, Ont., were third with 210.84 points. Teammates Kirsten Moore-Towers of St. Catharines, Ont., and Dylan Moscovitch of Toronto were fourth. Duhamel and Radford, who were seventh at the Sochi Olympics, also won bronze at last years world championships in London, Ont. Jose de Jesus Corona Jersey . Serves hit by her surgically repaired shoulder often missed the mark, resulting in 12 double-faults. Mexico Blank Jersey . Signs of a turnaround have emerged in this series at Minnesota. Brian Roberts had three doubles and a triple for the first four-extra-base-hit game of his 14-year career, and the Yankees used their bullpen to preserve a 6-5 win over the Twins on Friday.Tennessee general manager Ruston Webster thinks Mike Munchak helped the franchise that drafted him back in 1982 through a challenging time through three seasons as head coach. Unfortunately for Munchak, loyalty to the NFL team with which he spent 31 seasons just wasnt enough anymore. The Titans fired Munchak on Saturday after spending the past week talking about changes needed for a franchise that has not reached the playoffs since 2008 and last won a post-season game in January 2003. "In the end, we were not able to agree just on the future or the direction of the franchise, and I felt it was time to make a change," Webster said at a news conference. "We move ahead into the next phase of the Tennessee Titans and look for the next coach, and also looking for great things." Munchak became the seventh NFL coach fired. He said in a statement issued through the team that he had hoped this day would never come and that he couldnt express his sadness at leaving a franchise he had been with for more than 30 years. "My goal as head coach was to do things the right way with the right people, and I felt confident that the results would follow," Munchak said. "Sometimes rebuilding a team and its culture takes time, but I truly believe we were on the verge of great things. Unfortunately, my vision did not match that of the organization, so we will part ways." Webster now has to oversee this franchises first coaching search since February 2011 when Munchak was promoted and only the second since this franchise left Texas for Tennessee in 1997. Munchak flew to Texas on Friday morning to meet with team president and CEO Tommy Smith and Webster. They returned late in the afternoon. Smith said in a statement that those talks continued into Saturday before the decision to let Munchak go. "Ultimately, we decided it was best to move in different directions," Smith said. "As I told him, we appreciate his efforts as head coach and I think he helped us progress as a team." Munchak had a season left on his contract and was 22-26 overall. He had been with this franchise since 1982 when the then-Houston Oilers made him a first-round draft pick, and he joined the coaching staff as an assistant the year after he retired. The Titans made Munchak their 16th head coach when late owner Bud Adams promoted him after firing Jeff Fisher. But Munchaks first off-season was wiped out by the NFL lockout before his only winning season att 9-7.dddddddddddd He went 6-10 after the second off-season was chewed up when Adams ordered his front office to chase Peyton Manning. Adams spent more than $100 million this past off-season to restock the Titans roster and made it clear he wanted a playoff berth. That spending spree landed 13 new free agents, along with seven draft picks making the roster. Smith, Adams son-in-law, was named president and CEO a week after Adams died in October. The Titans went 7-9 losing six games by one possession and also won six games decided by a possession. They also dropped eight of 10 games in one stretch, including five straight at home, with fans showing their displeasure by staying away by the thousands. That didnt change in the season finale with Smith watching even as the Titans beat Houston 16-10. Webster, who praised Munchaks professionalism, said the decision was shared by telephone Saturday. "He was a bridge between having a long tenured coach that had just left, and things had been done a certain way, and an older owner who in his tenure passed away," said Webster, promoted to general manager in January 2012. "I think weve been in a pretty major transition and he was part of that. Hes actually made the place better." Munchak had made it clear over the past couple of weeks that he thought having quarterback Jake Locker available for all 16 games likely would have been the difference in the two or three wins needed to earn this franchises first playoff berth since 2008. Webster wouldnt comment when asked if Munchak wanted an extension past 2014, and changes to the coaching staff likely was another issue. Defensive co-ordinator Jerry Gray and senior assistant coach for defence Gregg Williams both have expiring contracts, and special teams had problems on kick and punt returns until the team signed Leon Washington late. Munchak also promoted an old friend, Chet Parlavecchio, already on his staff as linebackers coach for 2013, and a young group featuring Zach Brown, Colin McCarthy and Akeem Ayers struggled most of the season. Asked if Munchak had been asked to fire six assistants as a condition to stay, Webster called that a "big number." Left guard Andy Levitre, who signed as a free agent in March to play for Munchak, wrote on Twitter: "Unfortunate to hear the news about Coach Munchak. Couldnt be more thankful 4 him giving me this opportunity in Nashville. Wish him the best." ' ' '